As they say, necessity is the mother of invention. Or the weird-uncle-on-mothers-side-whom-we-never-mention-because-he’s-Methodist. Something like that. So, anyway, we’ve got a yard full of Texas weeds (which are stubborn, resistant, ornery, and all over the place), a multi-year drought with severe watering restrictions imposed by the city (and the resultant fines which I do NOT want to have to pay if caught watering outside the approved times), and some unhappy tendons in my knees that growl at me whenever my approved evening watering times roll around mid-week.
I needed to get motivated to hop off my lazy butt and get out to spread some weed killer granules. Easy enough, just dump the bag in the broadcaster and wander aimlessly around the yard until the hopper is empty, right? Then drop the sprinkler, set my watch for 10 minutes, move sprinkler, set watch, move sprinkler….due to the water situation, we don’t have enough water pressure to run a sprinkler in the front yard and the back yard simultaneously (from previous experience, the back yard tends to just shoot water out in a straight line, not oscillating at all…which makes for a bright green happy stripe of grass amidst all the brown), so this gets old, quick. Being almost at level 70 with my witch doctor in Diablo III has absolutely nothing to do with it, I swear.
Awoke this morning to my alarm going off, as usual. Rounded up the dogs, who mercifully slept all night, got them moving in the direction of the back yard, and opened the door. Behold….it is raining. Not your typical 5-minute-OMG-Noah-would-be-proud Texas thunderflood, but one of those awesome all-day soaker drizzles. Excellent. This will do nicely.
Shove the beagles and Dane out the door, grab a T-shirt (I don’t want to inflict the sight of me in just a pair of shorts, yardwork shoes, and floppy hat on the neighbors. Or on the cops who would shortly be called), trashbag, and bungee cord. Move the broadcaster into the garage from its semi-permanent parking place on the back porch (there to remind me that I need to put down the weed granules….which it has done for at least a week now), give it a quick swipe with a towel, dump in the granules, bungee a kitchen trash bag over the top to keep the granules dry and spreadable, ensure floppy wide-brimmed hat is securely in place, and out I go into the rain. ProTip: granules spread just as well when its drizzly as when its 110F outside, bonus points for the spread-er not passing out from the heat.
Boom. Yard’s been granulated. Or spreadified. Or weedinator’d. Something like that. I’m only slightly dampened, although from the sounds of it, the rain has picked up a bit outside. See? Even the Lord Himself approves of such efficiency!!! And since a husband/father’s work is never done, I move on to the next item on my checklist: browse the web before seeing if I can level my witch doctor a bit more.